Plans

        

           

             Carl and I were sitting on my bed in my apartment. Those two hamsters were running around the bed as usual. I’m convinced he loved those little guys as much as he loves me. It was originally Lola and Pepa, but Pepa turned out to be a Pepe. In those five months in Spain, I never did get my little Pepitos like I expected. I guess it’s for the best. We didn’t stay in Spain long enough to have little Pepitos. In fact, we really had no idea where or when we would finally land.

       Pepe ran over my foot. I was sitting cross-legged with my back against the headboard, “So, Carl…” I say.
            “What?” He doesn’t take his eyes off Lola; she is dangerously close to running off the edge onto the laminate floor.
            I hesitate. We had already talked about the idea of what’s to come after Spain. We had talked about it a lot actually. I didn’t hesitate because I was afraid to talk about marriage, but I hesitated because I knew I was always pushing for a plan. I wanted to know for sure what we were going to do come June even though we had only been dating since January 2013.
            It was only February.

           “OK,” I go on. Lola is now safely in the center of the bed, so Carl’s eyes meet mine, “I know we’ve talked about the whole marriage thing, but it’s definitely too crazy. We definitely agree right?” I’m secretly hoping he says no.
            “Definitely too crazy. We’ve been dating a month, Leah.”
            “Yeah, I know. You’re right. So do you want to talk anymore about what it would look like if we stayed in Spain?”

Plan #1: If We Stayed in Spain

In Theory: Maria drops me off at the pedestrian crossing just like she always does. I slightly awkwardly get out of the car and say goodbye with all my teaching supplies in tow. I didn’t bring too much with me today because it isn’t a Monday; I only have my regular classes and not any of those stupid tutoring things. Wow, do I hate those. The kids walk all over me. I have no idea how to manage a classroom. I feel so bad for all that crap my friends and I pulled in high school.

            I cross the street and walk around the corner to my apartment. You know, that beautiful four bedroom, two bathroom, dining room, living room, terraces, balcony, laundry room, huge kitchen. That apartment. I pray that the key works. Sometimes it doesn’t, and I stand outside my own front door feeling like an idiot until it finally clicks. The key works this time, and I collect my mail from the steps as I go up. A letter from my mom! I was worried what my parents would think, you know, living with my boyfriend. And of course, they do mind, but they haven’t disowned me or anything.

            Carl will come home a bit later; he has to catch the bus from Bollullos where he works. It’s connected to the academy where he worked last year, so it was a really easy transfer. He comes home, and we finally make lunch together at 3pm. We have the rest of the day to ourselves, and neither of us work Fridays. Perfect.

In Reality: We didn’t want to stay in Spain. And that’s all that happened; that’s how the plan fell through. We just didn’t want to. Carl had been there two years already, and for me, it was going to be a year (though not a consecutive 12 month period). The buses are late. There are always drums banging. The people speak Spanish. Don’t get me wrong, we loved it, but it can be draining living outside your own culture.

Plan #2: If We Went to South Korea

In Theory: I get on the metro after finishing up at the school. Seoul is such a huge city, but I’m starting to get used to it. And at first, I didn’t think my lessons were going very well, but I’m feeling more confident. And besides, even if I didn’t love it, they pay really well. Not only is the salary great, but they pay for my food and apartment. Really it’s like I’ve got two apartments, since Carl lives in the same building I do.

            It definitely took more adjustment than Spain for me, but for Carl, it has been pretty easy. He’s lived in London, and couldn’t feel more at home in the big city. Pretty much everyone speaks English, so the language thing is actually easier than in Spain. Of course we’ve had our awkward cultural mishaps, but you live and you learn, right?

            And anyway, it’s worth it. With both of us making such good money, we will be all set for when we do decide to settle down in America. We will even be able to buy our own furniture instead of only garage sailing.

            I knock on his door, and as he opens it, the smell of dinner wafts out. On Thursdays he gets out earlier than I do, and always has something ready for me. What a gem.

In Reality: First of all, there was no guarantee we would be living close to each other in Seoul. Heck. There was no guarantee we would even both get a placement in the same city. I might be in Busan (on one end of the country) and he in Seoul (on the complete opposite). It’s still only a four hour train ride, but we’d really only get to see each other on the weekends and even most of the weekend would be taken up by train journeys.

And secondly, neither of us really wanted to keep teaching English. He’s a digital marketer. For him, teaching English was just a chance to live in Spain. And for me? Well, I’m not sure yet, but I don’t want to continue doing something I know I don’t like. At least for now while I have the option.

Plan #3: To Heck with It! Let’s Just Get Married

In Theory: “Are you sure you want to marry him?” They are all asking me, “You know, it is the biggest decision of your life. You don’t want to rush into something like this.”
            “Yeah, I know,” I say, “I have thought about it. And I know it will be hard, of course, but any marriage is. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating.”
            “Well, alright then.” They say, “If you’re sure.”

            The wedding is small. We didn’t have too much time to plan. I came back to the States from Spain in May, and the wedding is in June. People call us crazy, but we don’t mind. We know we are.

In Reality: Um, hello! You can’t just have an international marriage on a whim. There are visas and relatives and plane tickets.

Plan #4: I get the fiancé visa to go to England

In Theory: The visa for England only took three months, that’s why we choose to go with it. Of course not only that. I love living in England, and learning about Carl’s culture and country. But more than that, I get to know his family before we decide to return to the States.

            We are living in London. Super tiny flat of course, but on Carl’s and my wage we can just afford it and live comfortably. I hear the key turn in the lock. I can almost touch the front door, the couch is so close. Carl comes in bringing the cold air with him.
            “Hello!” He says, “How are you?”
            I put my book down and prance to his side, “Hi, sweet bean. What should we make for dinner? I’ve been thinking about it for ages!”
            “Well aren’t you an impatient little thing.”
            I try to look cute, “You knew that already. I applied for my visa the day after I got back from Spain. I don’t know what I would have done if it would have taken all summer. It was bad enough having to wait to come over here until July!”
            And then he kisses me.

In Reality: We can’t simply apply having both just left Spain. Carl has to meet the financial requirement; he has to have a job in England making x amount of money a year.

Plan #5: Apply as Soon as Carl Gets His Job

In Theory: “So does Halloween look any different in England?” We are debating whether or not to do anything special or just eat a frozen pizza and watch a movie.
            “Mmm,” he says, “Well, what’s it like in America?”
            “To be honest, I don’t really know. I wasn’t allowed to do Halloween.”
            “Really?!”
            “Yep. You knew that. I’ve told you before.”
            “We should do something special then. Dress you up like a fairy.”
            “You’d like that… And what would you dress up as?”

            We go on bantering and flirting and enjoying newlywed life. We opt for the frozen pizza because, let’s face it, there isn’t too much to do in Amersham. We could have gone to London I guess, but we were just there last weekend. It’s nice to just relax in our tiny apartment sometimes.

In Reality: Although Carl got a job that met the requirement in the beginning of September, we couldn’t apply yet. After further emails and questions and searching, we realize he has to hold that job for six months before I can apply. So really, I can’t even apply until the beginning of April.

Plan #6: Let’s Get Married in England on a Marriage Visitor’s Visa

In Theory: My family had flown over the wedding. My dad was downstairs somewhere in the lobby. Probably crying or something. We had to kick him out of the hotel room so we girls could get everything ready. Lydia didn’t last very long. She asked my mom a few more times if she could wear her tennis shoes to the wedding. After one or two no’s, silence was the only response she got. And when Talitha told her to sit down in front of the mirror so she could have her makeup done, she bolted. She was probably downstairs somewhere with my dad.

            I look at myself in the mirror. My mom, sisters (minus Lydia), and Christine are all getting ready around me. There is so much hustle and bustle trying to get ready for the wedding; it’s almost easy to forget what I’m actually getting ready for. I just keep getting focused on the task at hand. Get my makeup done. Do my hair. Do my nails. Plan what to take with me. Last minute details.

            It’s probably good I keep forgetting what day this really is. Whenever I remember, I get a little teary-eyed and way too excited. It’s been complicated getting to this day, but it’s finally here. Sure, the complications aren’t over yet. A few weeks after the wedding, I have to fly home and then apply for my spousal visa, but at least, in this moment, everything is perfect. I finally get to make Carl my husband.

In Reality: First, we couldn’t decide on a date to do the wedding. How about the end of March when my sisters have spring break? Nope, Carl has Purple Day, the day for epilepsy awareness, the biggest day at his work, he can’t take that week off. OK, well, how about when my sisters have off for Easter? No, Carl’s mom didn’t think that could work. Easter is a really busy time in England, she says. There is no way we could get a church. Fine. June then? June it is.

            We booked a church. We booked a reception hall. We booked a caterer.
            Christine and I made wedding invitations. Seventy-five of the damn things. And most of them are going to people who I know won’t be able to come. But we made them anyway, just to show I would have them there if I could. But guess what? The visa was denied.

            They asked me what I planned to do while in England, and I said, “I will plan my wedding, and in my free time, volunteer.” And that’s why I was denied. I guess in hindsight, it makes sense, but I didn’t know volunteering counted as work. They denied me because you’re not allowed to work on that visa, and volunteering is working (apparently).

Plan #7: Happily Ever After

In Theory: Carl and I get married and live happily ever after.

In Reality: Carl and I eventually get married and live happily ever after.